My MIL and FIL recently informed my husband and me that all of the gifts that they ever gave us now need to be paid back. Gifts. Not loans (ONCE my husband asked for a loan and paid it back within 2 months). Everything from the wedding gift they gave us to last Christmas needs to be paid back to them. And the kicker is, we just adopted. They don't approve of the adoption but they do want to call all the shots about parenting. (NOT ever gonna happen!) But seriously, they want to retire now, and claim that the gifts that they gave my husband and me destroyed their "nest egg" and they want it back.

stuff em...that is the rudest thing i have ever heard and there is no way in hell i would do it. its ridiculus. when u received it u would have only seen it as a gift...if u thought u had to pay for it u wouldnt have taken it....
wot a silly pack of morons. i would just pretend they dont exist and that they never sed it in the first place.
are they gonna give u back gifts that they gave u?

ha ha, no they don't plan on giving us anything back... as a matter of fact, they let us know exactly what they want at birthdays and  holidays. We've changed our number and go to great lengths to avoid them.

SO this isn't something you've heard of before? They are telling my husband that he is abandoning all of the "values" they raised him with by not stepping up to help them retire... My husband SAYS he is fine, but he isn't. anyone in his family who usually talks to him either isn't talking to him anymore OR they tell him to just give 20 dollars a week until they're happy again. He obviously isn't going to, but how is he NOT going to start blaming me when his whole family is?

Wow that is huge - and not fair to your husband.
We've had to go to councilling to deal with my in laws - maybe try it. It helps, and it would be great for your hubby

Yes my FIL is not financially secure and has a run down shack that he calls a vacation home. It was no running water, bathroom etc. is infested with mice and is filthy. He now wants us to contribute $75 towards helping with the bills because he never paid the city for something and now there is a huge $10,000 lein on the place. I find it odd that we're giving him $75 a month for something my husband is supposed to inherit. Meanwhile we have to now assume responsibility for part of the maintence etc. mowing the lawn, upkeep which is a joke on something he's never done himself. Meanwhile I spent one night there the first time I saw it and never went back you could hear the mice crawling around at night. Ugh. But yet my fil wants to buy some $2500 printer. How about paying off your tax lein instead?

Katalyst, that's terrible. You actually are giving him the money every month? I told my husband that he should tell his mom that if she thought she needed money from us to just take it off of any of the gifts that she ever planned to give us in the future. Although they claim to have money problems, they each go on vacation every month. Sometimes they go more than once. I think what a person does with their money is their business, but if my mil and fil can afford to go away so often, they honestly don't need my money. And yeah, if your fil wants a printer that is so expensive...

yeah i hate when ppl do over there own family.
are they asking money from all the kids monkeydancer?
my hubby was made to pay 50 bucks board when he started work...his bro and sis didnt start until they worked for 2 yrs and then only had to pay 30 bucks, while my hubby was still paying 50.
mil was direct debting out of his account after he had live with my parents for 2 years and then bought his own house.
i hate that she always knows my hubby will just take it but she takes it from my hubby and gives it to the other kids.
how old are these people n e ways? like were they not smart enough to set themselves up?

The day my hubby agrees to pay money to his parents is the day he can go live with them and give the money as rent.  It's not the children's fault that the parents didn't save enough for retirement!  And, my gosh, just how many gifts did they give you for your wedding?? Asking for the comparable money or gifts back is not only in poor taste, but basically is saying "We change our minds, we really don't want to give you a token of a gift in honor of your marriage.".  If they think that little of the marriage, then clearly they do not hold you in high enough esteem to be receiving any money from, eh?

It's too bad they are in a financial bind, but whatever small amount they may have given you as a wedding gift can't possibly be enough to equate an entire retirement fund.  What will be next? You know exactly what will be next: they'll be guilting you into paying for their retirement condo!

Say no, delicately, and perhaps offer to have a retirement party for them. In the invitations, be sure to put "in lieu of gifts, there will be a money tree. The collected funds will go toward their retirement fund".  Then, have the party (make it potluck so you don't have to foot the bill for a huge catering project!) and then you can sit back and say you already did something toward their retirement fund and no no longer should be bothered about it!

No Poorammie, the inlaws did not set up for their retirement. They really did spend money on my husband and his brother growing up. Sounds like my husband had a great childhood as far as things go. Parents weren't around much though... always vacationing or doing their own things. So they took care of their kids, but I didn't have anything to do with that, but I am the one putting my foot down. I think my husband was about ready to just go along with it, but we just adopted 6 kids! They are all related to each other, and there are sets of twins... we can't help fund their retirement but I just can't help wondering what WILL happen to them. Mainegirl, thank you and I love that idea. FIL is not retired yet. When MIL retired, I did throw her a party. She got many gifts, and most were monetary, but that was 5 years ago. FIL actually got mad at me for having the party, so they are on their own for his. But I do still think you made a great point by saying that if they do not think much of me, I'm not worth taking money from. Another family member got a hold of my husband at work and begged again for him to consider divorcing me. I don't know how they don't get that the more things they do like this he doesn't want to be around them more. But on the other hand, it's hard not to fight with him about all of this too. sorry for rambling oh but btw no, the total sum of the money they want is riduclous to think they could retire on that! All it would do would afford them a nice cruise or something..

what a load...and fone calls to divorse u...if my sil did that she would hae a black eye- atm shes in hospital with minigitis so wont talk about her atm.
but its really low when they think they can do that.
if u feel forced i would say to them when they stop going on holidays we may may % of you electricity bill.
i dont know what i would do if this was me. my nanas really old and my dad and his bros pay for her- but shes 98.