Wow! Twinkle toes, don't let them get to your nerves. There's something clearly wrong with them and there is nothing wrong with you. They have a problem, not you. Girl, I think we all spend too much time here. HEHEHE! I got to tell you that I've been thru that BS. My mil calling and e-mailing when we would ignore her. She called crying and hung up on my dh. Then my fil called "If you're planning on hurting your mother, you're doing a damn good job. Keep up the good work." In my situation we thought it best to just keep as much distance and do just like you said, "Oh this weekend! We're busy, we have a wedding to go to. Maybe some other time." So far it seems to work, we keep it pleasant but at arms length. They're crazy! You can't control their actions, but you can control the way you let them effect you. Just tell yourself "I will not let them effect my emotions or happiness in the least bit". My biggest mistake was wanting this great ideal relationship, that is never going to happen. My expectations were too high, and now that I have no expectations, I'm happier. Please feel free to continue to vent though, we are all here to listen.

OMG!  With this new information... forget the coffee.  Get her some valium!  Wow.  I am shocked.

"Goodbye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" is what you should tell both of them.  It sounds like they have no clue what they did wrong.  Let them be clueless in their "happy" home where people are banned and never spoken of again.  What is this Nazi Germany?  Please!

Sorry hunny, the only thing I can say is, get some support from your family, friends, church, or elsewhere.  I hope that you can get a sitter once in a while and take a break just the two of you.  If you lived in Denver, I would do it tonight!  

Let that crazy couple go and be with your happy family.  Chin up girl!

Oh.. my... goodness... that is just absurd...You DEFINITELY need to (try to) not worry about them. They are not worth your mental and physical health! MIL acts like a 3-year-old spoilded, whiny brat!!

Like stacann said, this has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do your ILs "losing control" and the power to make decisions for your DH... It is THEM, not you....Do they have nothing to do with their time, but stir up trouble? Are they just bored?

It's not you... DO hang in there and try to forget about it. Just because you married into the twisted family, doesn't mean you have to become "part of it".... You are doing the right thing by staying away!!!

Hang tough....

Amen

Wow is right.  It sounds like your Mil is upset because she isn't wearing your dh's pants anymore.  They are toxic.  I don't know why I let my Mil bother me for so long.  I guess I was raised in a loving family where we all tried to help and encourage each other.  What I didn't realize is that is not what all families are like.  Maybe mine was the exception.  I was the one who felt like we should all get along.  Well I guess she never read that manual.  Maybe that is why you feel so upset.  She doesn't play by the same rule book.  Be kind to others for instance.  You are loved by so many more people...don't let her have that kind of power over your feelings.  It would be nice to have a great relationship with her, but YOU are not preventing that...she is.  You have no blame here.  Each time you changed the wedding date, you changed it for other people.  Why couldn't she make her only sons wedding???Was she having major surgery??  I'm sorry, that would be the only excuse I'd accept.  What happened was that she had to feel important.  She had to have control.  She had to allow her only son to grow up and start a life of his own.  She couldn't accept this.  Please know that this will only make you stronger.  You have a loving relationship with dh, and that is what is important.  You have a loving home for your children.  That is your family.  Find your love and power through their unconditional love for you.  Don't give his mother another thought...she isn't worth it.

For starters what could be more important then her son's wedding? Freaking drama queens, the lot of em!

I wouldn't beat around the bush with them, I'd tell them straight out to the tune of 'Thanks for the call the babies are fine. Allthough this may be difficult for you to accept, since we are no longer welcome in your home; we think it would be best to adopt this policy as well with you in our home.'

End of story put it right back on them.

This post was last modified: 08-04-2008 09:49 PM by Katalyst.