I've been married for ten years. My mil is best friends with my sil. My sil has only been around for 8 years. I know that some people click and some people don't, but I feel like they rub it in my face. They always go shopping together, drink margaritas together, they even wear the same shoes!!!! I'm only human and can't help feel hurt. My mil is always rude, sarcastic and gives me funny looks. She has never attempted to get to know me. On top of this my mil lives with my sil and my sil hates me and is a witch. I told my husband I give up. He knows that I have tried and knows that his mom hurts me and says it's ok if I want to stay out of their lives. Should I be giving up? I come home from restuarants or from seeing my mil and I cry every single time. I don't think it's healthy for me. What do you guys think?

Oh, how "high school" of them. Perhaps neither of them were unpopular or ever the "new kid" and recall how it feels to be left out and alone. :-(

I agree that its not their fault they hit it off so well, but out of respect for her son- your husband- she really should be inviting you... say 1 in every 3 times. What would that hurt? You would feel included, and it would give you a chance to bond with them. Perhaps she could invite you ALONE.

If you want to TRY, maybe call her one evening and say you wanted a "moms night out" or something and ask if she would care to join you for dinner somewhere- make sure you say "Just me and you, hubby is staying home and I thought this would be a good time for us to spend an evening together". TREAT HER. Buy her meal, and then just talk about something you have in common with her... to get her to open up, maybe ask her what she thought was the silliest thing your husband ever did as a kid. Or what she feels was the most poignant moment in her life as a mom. That sort of thing. Generally people relax if given a chance to talk about themselves with someone who seems genuinely interested.

Now that advice was given because you seem to want to be included and have a relationship with her. If the door is closed, or you want to close it, I don't think that makes you a bad person. It just means you are tired of trying!

Yes, 10 years is enough time to give up!  I know it hurts to even think about it, but try to avoid FURTHER hurting by avoiding them as much as possible.  At the same time, spend more time with your own friends to help take your mind off of those two.  Granted, I know it'll be hard to forget, but at least you don't have to LOOK at them, you know?

I know that it's easier said than done, but try to not worry about them. If they are "BFF" and want to be childish enough to "leave you out", then they aren't worth you worrying about it...and you are better off without their friendship.. It's hard when you are hoping for a friendship and all you get is a lousy Inlaw acquaintanceship... BUT, sometimes "it is what it is".....

10 years is a long time to hope/try... maybe it's time to view your relationship with them as an acquaintancship -and not hope for a close friendship....... Change your expectations of them, so you are not disappointed. ??? Just a thought... Like I said, I know that it is easier said than done.... I am still dealing with the disappointment of knowing that I will never be real friends with my ILs. I am not trying to adjust my mindset to be open to surface, friendly relationships...
Ya havta do the best with what you are given.....
Hang in there..

i agree w/ the notion of just accepting it as an acquaintannship..its weird w/ inlaws that way., and messes with your brain-like, i wonder why is it that i can become great friends with the people i work with in less than a year and stay close for all these years and put the same effort (due to the close contact) of befriending these crazy nutbar ppl called inlaws to only end up w/ smug acquaintances?..

I agree; its not worth the frustration and hurt to keep trying to be friends

I agree with the masses.  Do you really care about someone that treats you like dog dootie?  Really, you have tried.  Maybe she likes you trying your heart out.  Turn the tables and act like you don't give 2 hoots.  Start acting like you don't care and you might even convince yourself.