Letters We'd Like To Write
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Posts: 173
Age: 34, Sex: 
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RE:Â Â Letters We'd Like To Write
I wrote my MIL a letter last summer and sent it.  This is what I said.
Dear XXXXX.
I would like to apolagize to you for anything I have done to hurt you.
Your son and I love each other very much and it would mean a lot to us and our children to have a  close relationship with you.
Would you please give us a chance to start over fresh?
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Her response. She ignored it.
You are absolutely a kind person! What i did at first wrote a card:
'dear ***, thank you so much for accepting me in your family'
yeah right. Did she really do that???
no way!
Don't apologise too much to mother/father in laws. They will always remember that 'it was your falt' and not theirs. They will NEVER see their mistake, that is why i wrote a horrible letter to them to WAKE THEM UP from their dreamland
good luck!
'Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law'
zuskak, proud to be a Society member!
10-15-2006 06:48 AM
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Posts: 834
Age: 41, Sex:
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RE: Letters We'd Like To Write
Yeah lol, no shit, huh. I am almost ready to write that horrible letter. She really crossed the line with me this last letter she sent and this is after I agreed to give up my home and land and job and friends and family and sheep to move back to her freaking attitude.
My MIL drives a '1986' luxury wooden single seater broomstick with a sidecar attached for her only son.
10-15-2006 08:46 AM
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Posts: 99
Age: 35, Sex:
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RE: Letters We'd Like To Write
I liked what you said about when your MIL dies! I live in my MIL's apt and we share a yead. I'm from Kansas. When my MIL dies I'll dance on her grave singing -- DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD, WITCH OLD WITCH THE WICKED OLD WITCH:)
03-12-2007 08:46 PM
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Posts: 99
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RE: Letters We'd Like To Write
I was reading this and I just remembered some things form when I was in theapy. (I've talked to many therapist in my life. 1999-2006 all at different times. In Kansas, Alaska and MA. !!!!You can always write a letter to your MIL and it doesn't mean that you have to give it to her!!!! After you have written it you can rip it all up into very small pices or you can just burn it. I don't think it smart to let it lay around your house because some one may give it to her. I wouldn't let that happen because you don't want her having it without you knowing she has it. You can't make her read it and you can't make her say sorry for what she has done to you. (QUEEN OF THERAPY HERE TELLING YOU I KNOW I CAN'T MAKE ANY BODY DO WHAT I WANT THEM TO DO IF THEY DON'T WAN'T TO!)
03-13-2007 08:39 PM
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Posts: 213
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RE: Letters We'd Like To Write
i have a file on my work computer, its called dear 'mils name'...i bitch about everything. sometimes i need it to clear my head at work. i strew over things so much...i make myself write in it...just incase there are some feelings i am hiding. i now only write in it once a week as an update.. i dont alway talk about bad stuff she does...i mention when she's nice....
i may have given her some amo today...she was going to get stuff for our wedding- robbon for cars and i rang her and said how did u go with the stuff u had to get....she laughed and i quickly regretted using the word had...but thats life...really it puts me in power and makes her realise its my wedding and i say who does what....
11-28-2007 03:05 AM
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Posts: 562
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RE: Letters We'd Like To Write
Here is the letter we are working on to our inlaws:
The kids are going through many milestones at the current time and need more attention than ever. They deserve more than just our physical presence, they also need our emotional and mental dedication to them. I don't feel that I can give this to them when I am witnessing or involved in quarrels with anyone. I feel frustrated, distracted, and distant when there are problems we can not control or change going on around us. Sadly, ____ and I have discovered that our extended families are causing the most chaos, pain, and distractions in our lives.
We have decided that in light of our children's needs, for the time being we wish to draw closer to one another and focus on giving our immediate family the sort of peaceful and loving home we want to raise our children in. We ask that you all please give us space so that the children will not be affected by this ongoing drama...We won't be taking your emails, calls or receiving guests at this time.
We hope that in the future, any hard feelings will pass and we can build a positive relationship with both of our families for us and the children. We will then welcome anyone in our home who welcomes us into theirs. We really do value family relationships and hope that in time our children can experience the love of their extended family in peaceful and supportive relationships.
07-14-2008 05:55 PM
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RE: Letters We'd Like To Write
Fair play Zuskak, good on you. The guilt is terrible isn't it. how is it that il's can be so mean to us and yet when we stand up for ourselves we feel worse. I suspect that the only reason that she is not talking to you is because she knows now that she can't get away with treating you so badly anymore.I imagine that you feel guilty because your husband is upset but happy because you had the courage to stand up to your MIL and tell her how you feel. She'll eventually get over it and will want to see you again.
09-04-2008 06:23 PM
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