Sefira, I don't live near Chicago, so I'm afraid I can't recommend anyone, but I did want to comment on your post. The fact that your hubby is willing to go see someone with you is a really good sign. While you're waiting for a therapist, maybe the two of you can agree on a 30 day "moratorium" from his mother. Explain to your hubby that for 30 days, there should be no phone calls and no visits so that the two of you can focus on your marriage. Take those 30 days to reconnect with your hubby. Go on "dates" each weekend, sleep in late on the weekends and just lay in bed talking, and then get up and just do things needed to be done in your home and for the two of YOU.
Explain to your MIL that the two of you need this time to reconnect, and that at the end of the 30 days, you want to get together with her (maybe over dinner in a restaurant or other place where she is unlikely to scream and yell and throw a fit) and talk about some things. Explain (first to hubby, and then later to his mother) that you need to put boundaries on your contact with his mother. You are, after all, married and out on your own now, and clearly having too much contact is creating issues in your marriage.
Let hubby know that over the 30 days, you can slowly talk about what kind of boundaries you might want (ie. MIL can only call once a week and can only visit once every 2 weeks, etc.). Then talk about EVERYTHING involved in the situation. Together, hopefully, you can agree that your MIL should not have a say in how you conduct your lives...that while you APPRECIATE her "wisdom", ultimately the two of you need to make your own decisions (occassionally with her "help" - saying this will make hubby and MIL feel that she can still have an opinion, you just may not do anything WITH it! LOL!).
MIL will not likely honor the 30 days and try to call, so you'll have to have very strong willpower! In the case of an EXTREME emergency, designate someone your MIL can call to get a message to you - otherwise NO CONTACT!
Then, enjoy some time together just the two of you, and slowly over the month draw up the boundaries and ways things can change. Be prepared to give a little and accept that his mother will want to have some input and will want to see her son from time to time. Make compromises where it seems appropriate. At the end of the 30 days, say to your hubby "hasn't this time been wonderful? I'm so glad we could reconnect and draw up some boundaries for how we can move forward from here with peace and harmony in the family".
p.s. Write down what you decide on - every detail if you have to! - and make a copy for MIL. Then when you get together with her, go over the paper with her (gently, but firmly). Make sure you tell your hubby ahead of time that it is important that HE start the conversation with your MIL by saying "Mom, this past month we've talked a lot about things that have caused some friction for everyone, and so WE have come up with some things that we are hoping can be worked on so that everyone can have peace"...that way she'll realize you both mean business!
Good luck!
