Our wedding is this weekend, and the in-laws have apparently arrived here in the USA, although they haven't contacted us. Does anyone else find this odd? They arrived in LA from Australia yesterday and never called to say they made it ok. Then last night they were supposed to arrive in Boston, but never called. Today we're supposed to be picking them up from the train station, I guess we just..show up?

Anyway, I wanted to rant about my SIL.  So, her parents are here, and apparently she can't stand it that her parents will be giving us some attention for a week. As you all may recall, she has refused to speak to me since I asked (politely, even, and with an offer of forgiveness) for her to simply take ownership of her part in our feud. To be honest, I don't feel I really did anything wrong, but I still appologized, and she refused to appologize, as she didn't see that stabbing me in the back was anything bad.

WELL, she's mommy's princess, and has spent her entire lifetime putting down and bossing her brothers so that she could stay in mommy's good graces without having to share any of mommy's attention with her brothers.  Well, mommy is here in USA for a week, and suddenly out of the blue I get an email from SIL pretending nothing is wrong and letting me know she's "thinking of us" and asking if I'm wearing the same dress I had once, years ago, emailed her about.

The last time she emailed me out of the blue like that, after all the issues we've had and her refusal to appologize, I told her in no uncertain terms that her pretending nothing was wrong was not going to change things, and that we needed to talk about what happened in order to get past it.

So, here she is again, pretending nothing is wrong. Naturally, until after her parents leave I''m going to ignore the email, but after they leave, should I respond with the same rundown I gave her last time, or just continue to ignore the email....following her lead of pretending nothing happened?

i would ignore it and enjoy your awesome life together. she prob is trying to be part of it. is she going?

Your in laws sound like mine. SIL had a baby and we didn't hear from them for 6 days. Wouldn't you have your husband call your only brother in the very least to announce the birth of your first child? I know I would but whatever.  Before she had the baby she told me she wasn't accepting visitors in the hospitial except one close friend nor were her parents welcome. IMO that's weird. Delete the SIL's email or better yet forward it to DH and let him deal with her. This way you aren't the *bad one* like I am lol.

Its probally killing her that you are the center of attention and she's thousands of miles away. Oh how I would kill to have my IL's that far away!

Yes its very weird you haven't heard from them but its one less day that you have to put up with their bullsh*t at least. Congrats on the wedding! I bet you will be a beautiful bride, post lots of pictures somewhere and give us the links. I love weddings, ignore them completely because the day will go so fast otherwise.

Poorrammie, no she's not going. She "couldn't get the time off work" to come (which I am ETERNALLY grateful for).  Thanks for the suggestion. I think ignoring the email is probably the way to go.

Katalyst, I SO love having my inlaws 12,000 miles away! They are here now, and are on "best behavior", but still little comments have slipped past (hubby is too starry-eyed by his parents to see the slights).  The one that disturbed me the most was my FIL who, when I joked that if my hubby teased me, I would simply not pass the soup to him, and my FIL said something to the effect of "Or you can without something ELSE from him (meaning sex)...oh, well, you don't have to do that, because you already got him where you want him, so if you just ask him anything, he'll just do it."

Ummmm, yeah. Well, my sweetie might be a bit of a pushover, but he's a pushover to EVERYONE, not just to me (and he's more likely to let his parents walk all over him than anyone else, trust me!).  I try not to abuse the fact that my Aussie is a bit of a pushover, but they certainly seem to have no problems with it!

My MIL has hardly held the baby at all.  My FIL has been very affectionate with the baby, picking him up alot and being very active with him, but my cold-hearted MIL just sits there and hardly even touches the baby, let alone picks him up.  No wonder those 3 kids (meaning my hubby and siblings) all feel like nothing they ever do is good enough to please her. She is so cold and distant, only occassionally "gracing" people with a few glimmers of affection.  

Get this: the baby was playing with the cat, and the cat kept swatting his hand away. When the baby got too close and the cat was poised to swat at his head, she ACTUALLY said (with all sincerety) "Oh, no! Don't let the cat swat him on the head!!! He'll get a scratch on his face and that won't look good in the wedding pictures!" and her husband said "Oh, it'll be alright" and she said "No it won't! Think of the pictures with that nice suit and a scratch on his face!"

Deary me, you'd think one would be more concerned with the PAIN inflicted by the scratch, and not whether or not it would look fashionable in a picture!  But, then again, with her, it's all about how things LOOK.  She dieted HARD CORE (and forced her hubby to do the same) so that she is at LEAST 20 pounds lighter for her visit here.  Then, she had the audacity to say I looked thinner than the last time she saw me.  Ummm...she saw me before I was pregnant, and I was about 20 pounds lighter then...and it's OBVIOUS I'm heavier, since I'm still trying to get rid of the baby fat.  Don't you just hate it when someone says you look thinner, when you know damned well you've gained weight...it's as though she's trying to draw attention to the fact she's so thin and I'm so much obviously heavier.  C'mon, you can't tell me that's not a passive-aggressive insult she's hoping only *I* will notice! I merely said "Yup, I'm certainly trying! Ever since the baby was born I've lost 40 pounds, so I'm really proud of that! By this time next year, I'll be all set!" and she didn't respond to that comment.  Bizatch!

I think you are being overly sensitive here...I mean c'mon the wedding pictures are way more important then bodily harm to your child.

JUST KIDDING

*runs away!* lol

Your MIL and my MIL are two pea's in a pod. Both wingnuts! lol

This post was last modified: 05-01-2008 01:19 PM by Katalyst.

I hate all mil's....ok I am new to the forum what does DH mean?

DH is meant to mean devoted husband I think..As of late it means Damn Husband to me.

ever wonder.."where do people get off acting like that?"..i sometimes these crazy inlaws are so hopeless..the last time my mil was over to see our new house, she made a comment about of furniture being almost as nice as her daughters..i just looked at her and said "right...hmm....how sad"..she shut up :)..i hope your wedding goes well, live it up and enjoy it to the fullest, take lots of pictures (sans in laws) and dont let them suck the life out  of one more of your life's joys!