After all the BS that has happened, the woman still refuses to take any responsibility for what she's done.  Quick recap:  MIL sent a package that arrived on my daughter's bday (she's from my 1st marriage), but contained a bunch of 3-sizes-too-big WINTER clothes (that arrived here this SUMMER month of July!) for my infant son (who is her son's son). She made NO mention of my dd in the package, and naturally my dd was rather upset about this.  Hubby lets his mother know that it hurt my dd's feelings, and that in the future if she wants to send a package, to remember we have TWO kids, and not just "their" grandson.  She responded (predictably) with defensiveness "It was unintentional, we gave her a bday gift 2 months early, remember?".  Naturally she didn't appologize, or mention that she would bear in mind that when you have more than 1 kid in a house and a package arrives, 1 of them might be upset if they are completely ignored!

So, now for the update:  MIL emailed me yesterday pretending nothing had happened, just chatting about the usual superficial chatty stuff.  Normally, she wouldn't email me unless she had to. She only emails me when it seems to fit her strategic plans.  

Naturally, I plan to ignore the email.  If I respond by saying "Ummm, pretending nothing happened isn't going to get you far with ME", then she wins by making me the biotch. If I respond by also pretending things are fine, then she wins again because she gets to evade taking responsibility for her "unintentional" slight to my daughter.

I'm not about to let her off the hook and simply pretend everything is perfectly fine, and I'm also not about to fall into the trap of appearing tempermental by chewing her out.  So, I'll do exactly as SHE would do with an email she didn't think she could "win anything from" - I'll ignore it.

This post was last modified: 07-29-2008 08:35 PM by mainegirl.

HMMMMM. That's a tough spot she put you in. If you e-mail back and tell her what you think you're the bad person. If you act like nothing has happened then the cycle of her actions continues and you give her the ok to do it again. The way I see it, you have 2 choices. 1. Ignore the e-mail, but she'll keep insisting and even call or 2. Answer the e-mail, keep it short and sweet and tell her that your dd is recovering from her hurtful actions on her birthday, but doing well and thanks for asking (keep it short and sweet, but firm and reminding her of her hurtful actions.)
You mil is such a witch! I think she's related to mine. That's the best advice I got. Sorry again for your b*tch of a mil.

Send her a forward like "How to give a cat a pill". Thats an email to her, but it doesn't acknowledge anything she says or whats going on with you- a "win-win" for ya:

http://www.mamarocks.com/how_to_give_you...a_pill.htm

:-P

I think the best thing to do is just ignore it.  If she keeps on pestering you, direct her to email your DH and that you are busy with the kidS and don't really have time to respond properly.

Of course you know that properly means a nice long email telling her all about what a terrible grandmother she is.  Because a good grandma would at least recognize that a little brother will not feel good if his sister is mistreated.  He'll feel guilty and sad.  So at the very least (since she's all about the technicalities of it being "her" grandchild), she should want to be inclusive so as not to make him feel uncomfortable.

I know he's a baby now but he'll start picking up on this quickly!

I would ignore it too; I agree you don't want to give her acceptance to do it again or be "the bad person" I swear they can be so hurtful sometimes. How is you dd doing anyway? is she still upset?

Use her actions then...Delete her email and when asked you can always say 'Oh well I responded to your email 2 months ago'. Who ignores one grandchild and favors another. Snip that bs right in the bud now. What a freakin' biznatch!

I've been ignoring my father in law's emails for about 5 months now since they are to me as well as my husband I figure it my dh isn't answering him why should I? I don't care anymore who thinks I'm a bi*ch, as a matter of fact I hope they all do and leave me the hell alone lol.

The next email you get from your MIL do what I just did and hit the SPAM button. :) lol

Today I am cc'd on an email directed towards dh. How he is so worried and to please respond to his email. He has our phone number, dh's phone number at work if its so urgent why not call? Funny when he's looking for help or money he has no problems phoning us. Drama kings/queen's the lot of em.

This post was last modified: 08-04-2008 09:39 PM by Katalyst.