I apologize, in advance for the rant - but I have to get this off my chest before I go to bed, or I will not get good sleep tonight...
You've probably read about some of my other MIL and IL rants... my hell continues... I have a sabotaging, evil, twisted, sick FMIL...
She is a "controler" in EVERY since of the word.

The drama has been going on for about a month now.. it started when she told FH that he was making a mistake b/c I was controlling and didn't really love him, blah, blah... I wrote her an email (a nice email, confirmed "nice" by 3 totally different people) but it "called her out" on her words and slanderous remarks about me...FH TOLD me what she said (b/c he and I actually have a healthy relationship where we communicate openly - and NONE of that family understands what communication/love are... they all CONROL and JUDGE EVERYONE).
So, he was on the S-list and they have been ignorning him ever since.

Tonight, he was tired of it and drove hours to see them to have a conversation... she bumped it up a level... said that I was controling his thoughts and changing him and I was breaking up the whole family and "stealing" him. That they had "lost him" and that I was breaking up the family... that he did not need to be with me.. etc..

F(evil)MIL pulled out threats (in true control-freak fashion)... and said that she "they" were not going to help him financially with ANYTHING anymore.... (*Insert - they are pretty free with their money and do buy their children and grandchildren lots of nice things).. So, that threat was thrown in... and the loony-bird actually said to him "I want you to know that I am going to bed tonight knowing that my only son does not love me....."... He argued that that was not true, but that he did not like they way she was treating him or me and our relationship. All he asked was for them to try to get to know and accept her... And (drumroll).. Loony Bee said "What have I done that shows I am not accepting her."... He laughed out loud and said "would you like to reflect on the past two hours of conversation?"....

She is CRAZY... and I don't want her at our wedding.. but I do not feel like it is okay for me to ask that... I hate feeling this way...but we have such a special relationship... highschool sweethearts, who found eachother again and who should have been together all along.
I honestly feel that she is jealous of me and how much he loves me. I believe it was the same in highschool.... She calls me "Miss Priss" and it...drives...me...nuts!! I am the most down to earth, NOT PRISSY person you'll ever meet. Athletic and tomboy. NOT PRISSY.

I hate her and her little clones too.... I dont' want to be around them..Can I opt for that, or have I now crossed the line into unreasonable? SOOOO frustrated....

She is evil... no joke...

I really think you've earned the right to not invite them.  She's made her point clear and your fiance has even tried to work it out to no avail!  I hate hate HATE when parents tell their children not to marry someone.  That's so cruel.  You may not like the woman/man your child is marrying but if you love your child you support them.  In my experience, these sorts of mothers aren't satisfied with anyone so I wouldn't take it personally.  You just happened to be the 'lucky' girl FH choose ;)

I would just sit down with FH and say you don't feel comfortable, that you'll look out on the crowd and you want to see all the people who rejoice in this marriage not ones who want it destroyed.  Then, let him make the final call.  But I really do think you can say you don't want them there and have a good reason.  You aren't being petty.

ELOPE! Run for your life! TRUST ME! That way you can invite a couple close friends to witness and go somewhere romantic and just get married; that is what a wedding is about; the 2 who are marrying and love eachother; who cares about anything else; the cake; the guests, the food; its all for other people; the actual ceremony if for the 2 of you.....

This post was last modified: 07-08-2008 01:09 PM by ladybug1099.

We've talked about eloping.... so that we don't have to do those "curtisy invites" to the naysayers... (his MIL, his SILs... etc)...
BUT, the flipside of that is that we have TONS of people who are very happy and supportive of us... My family, our old friends, our new friends.... it would be a shame to exclude them because his Mother and Sisters are total control freaks who are trying to make him feel like he is betraying the family....
We would both like the experience the dress and the cake and the friends/family there to celebrate.. and we feel, in part, like eloping would be validating her opinion that we do not "deserve" for our union to be a celebration... THAT sucks... We can't let her ruin that....

MIL is really sick (psychologically)... there is a (very small) part of me that feels sorry for her.. She cannot STAND that her baby boy really loves another woman and that he is actually HAPPY.. It feels like she is in competition with me for his love.. and attempts to make him feel like he can't love both of us... that it has to be either me or "the family"...THAT is sick... and very sad...

These woman make me crazy... it's absolutely ridiculous....

plan your big wedding, surround yourself with people that love and care for you, and avoid the witches  during this happy time in your life..i think its weird , so hard to take all this crap inlaws dish out - cause no one else in our lives have treated us soo poorly and if other ppl did, we run them out of our lives asap, but with inlaws u cant do that without harming the one u love.its nice that fh stands up for you..

That is so sad.. I was in very much the same situation, and did elope, although it was the best thing for me and my DH.  It was just us, and even though my parents were broken hearted, it turned out ok. My MIL (who by the way is still NUTS), actually sat down and told me that It really bothered her that he didn't need her anymore, and that he depended on me for everything. (HELLO??? Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be?)She actually played the reverse; she told me not to ruin my life, and not to marry him. I mean, WHO BAD MOUTHS THEIR OWN CHILD?? She told me stories of his past failed relationships, and completely trashed her own son to his future wife!

You cannot let her get the best of you! So, plan your wedding, and don't let her ruin it. I think it's great that you FH stands by you, and even though she's trying to pull you apart. Stand strong my friend, because from experience with dealing with a crazy MIL for 6 years, it doesn't always get easier, the battles just change, but, stand your ground, and love your DH, and maybe she will get the picture one day! GOOD LUCK!!!

You know Leighann my MIL had the nerve to get mad when my husband had to be taken to the hospital last year b/c I was called and she wasn't. She started moping and complaining that she had been replaced! HELLOOO I'm his wife; of course I was called! I think they are all crazy!

I don't get why these MILs feel "replaced",... as if their sons' capacity to love is not big enough to include more than 1 person... ?? It is completely irrational.... And it feels so "yucky" that they are in the "competition" for their sons' love and loyalty.

My FMIL told FH on Monday that it was obvisous to EVERYONE that I was orchestrating this big plan to "steal him away" from his family and his daughter and that I was "winning".. What is THAT? How did our relationship turn into a game/competition? She really cannot stand it that he loves me.. and that he and I ARE a family...

These woman are crazy... I mean, she expects and demands that her husband to stand behind her and back her for everything.. .. but she expects her son to back  herand "choose" her  too (and get rid of me) because he (get this) "loves me too much"... WHAT?!?! How about be HAPPY that your child found real love and that he is happy and in a healthy relationship.

FH is standing up to her...and I am so grateful that he is and that he sees how absolutely insane she is.... but, this is very hard on him and he does slip back into their family patterns pretty easily... it's frustrating, but I am so incredibly blessed that I have a FH who puts OUR relationship first... THAT is healthy.... his family's twisted ideas of relationships is just not healthy....: "Queen B" makes all rules and decisions for the family and all bow down b/c she is the old wise one...
NOT!... she is a judgmental, shallow, selfish PITA....

Thanks for your support ladies.... I'm so glad I found this website...

I would invite them to the wedding, but, I would establish in advance someone in the church or one of your friends to "patrol" them and make sure they behave. This would be the person to make sure they also stay out of your space. Unless your husband is prepared to make a perm. break from them, you may be dealing with them for awhile. It is good that you have his support right now.

OMG.  I am going through the EXACT same thing.  My future MIL is actually telling us that she will not fund the wedding or the honeymoon.  

I am sorry, but I don't remember us asking for help, or agreeing to accept her help.  I would rather run away and get married than have to deal with her taking control.

Additionally she now wnats to watch my boys while we are on our honeymoon.  I almost fell out of my chair!  Yeah right!  

Words to you... do not let her ruin your days.  She is not worth it!  Keep your head held high.