08-09-2008, 03:38 PM
VENTING! 
I'm sure I'm not alone here, but my FMIL seems to think that she is God's gift to "how to parent"... She is NOT, but she insists that my FH parents poorly and that he should do as MIL says. As if! This from a woman who used to slap her children across the face when she was angry and would pinch them under their arms in public to keep them "in line" (just to name a few).... That was THEN... NOW, as a grandmother, her current theory seems to be "they (the grandchildren) are perfect. Let them do anything they want. Give them everything they want!!!" Yep, she's actually said that.
FH is there this weekend (first time since the blow up 2 months ago). I didn't want to go; I conveniently had things I "had to do"
..
So.... my SD had been there all week with MIL... which is always a recipe for SD acting a little bratty... (because she completely runs the show at Grandmas and gets whatever she wants, when she wants it). Okay, so I love my SD to death!... BUT, she has some behavior issues... she isn't fond of "rules" or the word "no" and she can be disrespectful at times... she expects to get her way ASAP and will throw an ALL OUT tantrum to ensure that happens. FH has been working on setting rules and following through with consequences. It's a slow process b/c SD is very smart and can easily manipulate a situation to get what she wants. We're working on it!
Well, he gets there and low and behold, SD does not "listen" to him. So, he warns her, she doesn't listen and he puts her in time out. (No biggie, right?)Well, MIL berates him for "being so mean"... continues for almost an hour to tell him how bad of a parent he is; and he is left justifying and explaining that his child needs to listen to him. Later, at bedtime, SD does not want to go to bed (alone).. BECAUSE grandma has been coaxed into sleeping with her all week... FH JUST recently got SD to sleep all the way through the night alone w/o coming to try to get in bed with him throughout the night... MIL knows this and was informed that FH wanted SD to sleep alone... but his wishes were ignored (because MIL knows best *insert sarcasm*). So, SD throws a tantrum (bad one... it was actually described as "sceaming bloody murder") to try to get her way. MIL tries to go in there and FH will not let her. He KNOWS this is SD's attempt to get her way but that it will pass if they ignore... (We've been through this for a while)... MIL again berates him and calls him mean and says that SD can do whatever she wants in Grandma's house.. That FH is not in charge and that HE must follow HER rules.... She is such a stupid biotch.... This woman CONSTANTLY undermines his authority. SD will ask for candy and FH will say no. MIL will go get candy and say "grandma will give you candy baby"...
There are SO many examples of how she does this... It makes his life miserable - and what is that teaching SD?!?!?! That daddy has NO autority and does not deserve respect. And I tell ya, it makes me very uncomfortable with discipling SD if/when we are there. FH, ex and I are all fine with my role, but I know MIL would freak OUT if she ever saw me discipline SD.
AND, FH and I do not have children together yet, but I tell you what, if she tries to do that crap with MY future bio children, she and I are going to go at it. That crazy woman WILL NOT tell me how to raise my children. I will refuse to bring them around if that is how is "has to be". She won't know them.. She is so totally wacked out..
ARGH!!!!!!
Why do they think they can do this!? It is so irritating!
...aaahhhh... feel better now..venting is good...
I'm sure I'm not alone here, but my FMIL seems to think that she is God's gift to "how to parent"... She is NOT, but she insists that my FH parents poorly and that he should do as MIL says. As if! This from a woman who used to slap her children across the face when she was angry and would pinch them under their arms in public to keep them "in line" (just to name a few).... That was THEN... NOW, as a grandmother, her current theory seems to be "they (the grandchildren) are perfect. Let them do anything they want. Give them everything they want!!!" Yep, she's actually said that.
FH is there this weekend (first time since the blow up 2 months ago). I didn't want to go; I conveniently had things I "had to do"
..So.... my SD had been there all week with MIL... which is always a recipe for SD acting a little bratty... (because she completely runs the show at Grandmas and gets whatever she wants, when she wants it). Okay, so I love my SD to death!... BUT, she has some behavior issues... she isn't fond of "rules" or the word "no" and she can be disrespectful at times... she expects to get her way ASAP and will throw an ALL OUT tantrum to ensure that happens. FH has been working on setting rules and following through with consequences. It's a slow process b/c SD is very smart and can easily manipulate a situation to get what she wants. We're working on it!
Well, he gets there and low and behold, SD does not "listen" to him. So, he warns her, she doesn't listen and he puts her in time out. (No biggie, right?)Well, MIL berates him for "being so mean"... continues for almost an hour to tell him how bad of a parent he is; and he is left justifying and explaining that his child needs to listen to him. Later, at bedtime, SD does not want to go to bed (alone).. BECAUSE grandma has been coaxed into sleeping with her all week... FH JUST recently got SD to sleep all the way through the night alone w/o coming to try to get in bed with him throughout the night... MIL knows this and was informed that FH wanted SD to sleep alone... but his wishes were ignored (because MIL knows best *insert sarcasm*). So, SD throws a tantrum (bad one... it was actually described as "sceaming bloody murder") to try to get her way. MIL tries to go in there and FH will not let her. He KNOWS this is SD's attempt to get her way but that it will pass if they ignore... (We've been through this for a while)... MIL again berates him and calls him mean and says that SD can do whatever she wants in Grandma's house.. That FH is not in charge and that HE must follow HER rules.... She is such a stupid biotch.... This woman CONSTANTLY undermines his authority. SD will ask for candy and FH will say no. MIL will go get candy and say "grandma will give you candy baby"...
There are SO many examples of how she does this... It makes his life miserable - and what is that teaching SD?!?!?! That daddy has NO autority and does not deserve respect. And I tell ya, it makes me very uncomfortable with discipling SD if/when we are there. FH, ex and I are all fine with my role, but I know MIL would freak OUT if she ever saw me discipline SD.
AND, FH and I do not have children together yet, but I tell you what, if she tries to do that crap with MY future bio children, she and I are going to go at it. That crazy woman WILL NOT tell me how to raise my children. I will refuse to bring them around if that is how is "has to be". She won't know them.. She is so totally wacked out..
ARGH!!!!!!
Why do they think they can do this!? It is so irritating!
...aaahhhh... feel better now..venting is good...