Tortured Daughters-In-Law

Hello ladies,
I just joined today.  I am not totally sure how all this works yet, so bare with me!  I have been telling my friend about my mommy in law issues for awhile now, and finally she sent me a link here!

Let me just start off with the most recent interferrance with my life.  My husband (we've been married not even a year yet!!!)  had to go to the doctor last week, for something..personal.  So, he had to have a test done, and by Weds. last week, mommy dearest was pestering him about what the results were.  Well, my husband didn't know the exact diagnosis, so, mommy calls his doctors office and poses as ME!  Asking what the name of his ailment is, and THEN ASKED IF HE COULD STILL HAVE CHILDREN.  I was outraged when she told me she did this...yes, that's right, she TOLD me she did it.....like there's nothing wrong with it!  I am not one to get into a confrontation, so I just sorta ignored it until we got home.  Then I said to my husband, you know, I really don't like that your mom called your doctor and told them she was me.  He said, I wouldn't like that either, and kinda laughed it off.....someone please tell me am I craxy for still to this day being upset about this??  And please, stick with me, I've got some doozies, this is just the most fresh on my mind!!!!!!

Oh my Gosh that's horrible!!! And about the fertility stuff? My mil did that. I suppose because we had twins (twice) she wanted to be nosey. At the hospital after I delivered, she said SEVERAL times, VERY LOUDLY "I am so glad they could use ____'s (my dh) sperm" and "I can tell they are ____'s (my dh) children". I didn't know what to say. What if we HAD of used donor sperm or something? Can you imagine how hurtful that would be? Instead, I just said "There was never an issue with your sons SPERM".

I would make an effort to call every doctor your dh has and ask that a password be put on his accounts. They can do that.

As far as her, she sounds sooooo bad, that your best bet might be to not answer her calls, etc. Let your dh handle it, OK? Shes a major button pusher!

I agree: call all your doctors and let them know about your MIL's tactics and make sure you have a password.  If you end up having children, be sure to do the same with the schools and teachers.  I actually have a similar family situation where I have had to let schools and teachers know to avoid a certain family member, and that unless they get an email from me, see me in person, or get a note from me, they are not to trust that anyone calling or visiting is representing me in any way.  Since I work in the schools, it's easier for me to do this, but most school secretaries understand these situations and will be happy to accomodate you.

Oooooo, yeah, she sounds pretty rotten. That would P*ss me off too.. DH didn't think anything was wrong with her doing that? I think THAT would 'p' me off too.... ?#?%?*!
I agree with the others, I'd call your doctors and try to set up a more secure way to give out information. And, in the mean time, maybe talk with DH about why her doing that is "not okay"....

OMH I am freaking out about that!!!! That is completely under handed!!! There is a reason why you fill out an "in case of emergency and confieniality" form at the doctor's office HELLO!

I was really shocked when I read this!

You must have been livid! That has to be the worst case of intrusion I have heard of yet. How have you managed to keep your hands from her throat.

Livid is a very nice word for what I was that day!!!

Does your MIL do things similar to that often? Seems very intursive and out of line..... Does your Dh think that is okay that she does that sort of thing?

You know, I really think that impersonating someone is illegal.  If I were you I would call the doctor's office and let them know what happened.  Maybe you can set up a password or something in the future?  Totally unacceptable!

You DH probably just doesn't know what to do about the situation and is choosing to ignore it.  Trust me, this will only make things worse.  I would be completely open about how this affects you (but try not to outright insult his mother).  Then, he needs to call her and tell her never to do something like this again!