Tortured Daughters-In-Law

As many of you may remember, my hubby just moved here to the US from Australia in the spring.  His parents, who said several times "anything you need, just let us know" and made a big display of saying that if we needed anything and our finances were low, said to just put it on the joint credit card that my hubby shares with his dad.

Well, my hubby had used the card for about $1000 worth of stuff, and paid back about $600 of it fairly quickly. His dad told him "not to worry about the rest", so he didn't worry about it.  Well, we were at Walmart, getting some items (I am "in between jobs", as my summer job just ended and my next seasonal job won't begin for a few weeks).  We tried to put it on the card, and what do you know: the card was declined. Canceled account.

How heart-warming it is to know that my hubby has been here less than 6 months, and already his parents have decided he doesn't need an emergency money back up.  At the VERY least they could have waited a year to cancel it, and of course it would have been nice to KNOW it was canceled before we tried to buy things.  Also, my hubby was very timely in paying, so I am totally in the dark as to why they'd cancel his credit card, knowing it is the only credit card we have. You'd think they could be KIND and wait till hubby has been able to obtain his own credit card here in the USA (which he needs to work probably 6 months in his job first I would think).

How thoughtful and loving of his parents to just cancel the card without telling us, leaving us without any kind of back up.

These are just wonderful people, aren't they?  Why do I get the feeling this is payback for me stealing away the baby boy? Perhaps the thinking is "She's got a job, why can't SHE deal with it"?  I haven't used a credit card in about 15 years (I have a visa debit, though) because I found out I don't handle them well, so it is by choice. My hubby is very good with credit cards, so that's why we were relying on HIS card.

Just...absolutely heart warming, isn't it? I guess they are ready to feed their son to the wolves and let him sink or swim without any back-up.  Just beautiful.

I call this game "Bait and Switch".

I don't feel his parents owed him a credit card that they would make the payments on just because he moved overseas and might get into a rut- the choice to move here was his. I am adding this to the reply because I doubt your husband is the type of man who would expect his parents to support him. Or have asked for them to. Its like they set him up. They take someone who would not have approached them for monetary support, and say "Oh, please, we want to".  Then when he comes to rely upon it as a "backup plan", the ole bait and switch! I think it was downright mean to make those sorts of promises, and then when they change their mind, NOT INFORM HIM. Its something both of you have depended upon as "back up plan" if things went wrong, and to suddenly find your "Savings" depleted would be shocking and overwhelming and I don't know how they could justify it!!!

I am very sorry. I am sure your dh is hurt. I hope that you have an alternative means to furnish these expenses!

BTW, we had something similar happen. My mother- not inlaws- wanted to do something extremely generous for us when the second set of twins came home. A gift I would rather not talk about because it still hurts me. We came to rely upon her generosity, and then she had an argument with me and "just-like-that" took the gift away. It was devastating at the time and I felt so betrayed. She didn't owe me ANYTHING, but she offers me this wonderful gift, then once I come to depend on it, jerked it out from under us at a time we needed it most. This was also something I would not have ever asked for- which is what made the gift so wonderful, and so hard to accept when it was "switched".

Argh... yeah, that sounds like a bait and switch.... You would THINK that they would at least mention that they closed the account; , if only as a courtesy.

Update:  Hubby talked to his dad, who agreed to reinstate the card - after my hubby reminded him that the card was gotten SPECIFICALLY for his use for such things and was meant to be kept for as long as HE felt he needed it.

See, the card was for my husband in his name, but the way they do it in Australia (at least from what my husband found) is that the first credit card a person tends to get will not be approved unless you have a co-owner on the card with you.  

Hubby's dad agreed to do it, as this is pretty much the normal way that young adults get their first card there.  My hubby got it SPECIFICALLY so he'd have a card when he got here, knowing it would be a while before he could get his Greencard here and work and be in a position to get a credit card in the USA.  So, really his dad should have never done a THING to the card, so long as my hubby was paying it off when he used it.  I don't think his dad was worried my hubby wouldn't pay off the card when he used it.  It seriously just feels to me like he wanted to make a point that HE was in charge of one last thing.

Since hubby made it clear this was for HIM to have a card, I feel his dad (at the very least) should have discussed the matter before cancelling the card.  

I agree that it does seem "bait and switch", and it is really frustrating that his dad felt the need to just arbitrarily cancel a card my hubby got for his own use (his dad naturally has no need to use the card as he has plenty of his own..he merely signed on as co-user so it would get approved).