I am just curious what you ladies all think of this situation:

My FH's ex and my FMIL have recently begun to talk again (frequently) .... To be fair, there is a grandchild involved... so I realize that there would be contact from time to time.... HOWEVER, since MIL (all IL, actually) and I started having "issues"..... MIL and the ex have started communicating pretty regularly... even to the point (sorry to repeat information) that they INVITED the ex for a family weekend sleep over.. with the entire family (minus me and FH, or course)....

The ex is a greedy, spiteful, vindictive, manipulative woman who uses ANYTHING and EVERYTHING she can to "get to", to "sting", or "jab" at my FH.. So, she just LOVES it that MIL and SILs have started calling and emailing her again (I think it makes her feel better about herself - like maybe NOW they accept her and reject me...*which, might I add, is the point that they are trying to make to me by calling/emailing her....) PLUS, EX uses them to get information about my FH... things that she then tries to use against him.... They are dumb enough to fall right into her plan...

They each get something out of it... Ex loves to (1) gloat that they still contact her and miss her; and probably thinks she is "showing him" that he messed up by leaving her and (2) uses what they tell her against FH...
And the ILs LOVE the prove that they are going to "win" at any cost (they still don't want us together - and rarely speak to FH or me.... ).. and They get to gloat and throw it in his face that they "talk to" the EX regularly...  --i.e. saying "we'll talk to the woman who you despise and who treated you like shit for 10 years, but we will not talk to you or the woman you love and chose to marry"....

SO, my question is this: do any of you think it is strange that my FMIL and my FH's Ex suddendly started talking/emailing regularly?
Isn't it odd? and kind of scary?

I think you hit the nail on the head with the reasons why they are doing it....and yes, it is scary.  Realize that if these people are so evil to stoop to that level, then they are not worth worrying about whether or not they are keeping in touch with you!  You are better off without them!

Try to avoid them at all costs, and try not to find out about the get togethers with the ex.  If the ex is rubbing it in when she drops off, just smile and say "that's nice".  If you want to play hard ball, you can say "We spent the night out at dinner with some friends and also enjoyed ourselves, so it seems everyone had a great night last night!".  It will get her goat to think of you and your hubby happy together and having friends...when HER only friendship consists of a fake one with your husband's family!

Personally, however, I'd just try to ignore it.  Seriously, the best "revenge" is living a good, happy life!

Misery loves company? You have several miserably unhappy women with a common "enemy" (you).

And I know for myself that negative gossip is a very short "high". You feel good and excited for the 15 minutes you revel in it, then depressed, frustrated, and uncomfortable for hours afterwards. I agree with MaineGirl. I would do my best to be happy, just to spite 'em!

Yeah, not with this crew (RE: negative gossip not feeling good); it is a way of life for my ILs... it seems that almost every time I've been around MIL/SIL they are gossiping about someone... or several someones (very judgemental/critical gossip)....I think they couldn't survive without constantly putting down everyone around them... but, what I hate about it is they view you as "the enemy" if you disagree with them or even if you refuse to engage in their gossip... MIL feels like you are disrespecting her if you do not agree with or feed into what she feels/says...

For example, I have a friend - (20 years we've been friends)... and she hates him b/c MIL is friends with his Ex's mom... She has told me multiple times that I should not hang out with MY friend (of 20 years) and she gets angry when FH and I see him... How are MY friends her business? And who does she think she is, telling me who I should and should not hang out with?!?! And why do we get "in trouble" with MIL when we see him... I reference him b/c he and his family are always prime targets for their GOSSIP!!!! It drives me crazy...

Anyway... just venting..... thanks for the input... I do try ignore.. I guess there is nothing we can do about IL and Ex talking.. its just frightening... knowing the that EX is privvy to information we may not feel is her business........ Grrrrrr.

Yikes! It is very odd and very scary. How do you stay happy and not engulfed with anger? I give you kuddos for keeping your focus on your future marriage. As long as your future husband thinks that you are not kookoo and it is strange then you have nothing to worry about. That is so high school! I hate mil and sils! Together they're like an atomic bomb!!!! Keep your head up and try to ignore it and always vent on here because it helps bunches and we are all here to listen because we have all been thru it!

These people watch too much Springer.  Let the drama continue around you and at all costs don't open your mouth around any one of them.  Scary is right.  Manipulative and deceptive!  Pretty soon if you don't react they will likely move on to more reactive prey.  (Like a mouse that plays dead when a cat plays with it.  More times than not, as soon as it stops moving the cat stops chasing it!)

Erin, I do believe they do not get any joy out of gossip. I don't know anyone who enjoys the feeling of anger and bitterness, paranoia. I think it becomes an addiction and a way of life though!

This last post actually reminds me of my mom... Thats exactly how she is. If you don't hate someone SHE hates, she takes it as an offence. Then you hate HER. My mother feels you are either "for" or "against" her. there is no room for diplomacy.

I suppose you already know that in toxic inlaws Susan Forward suggests that many of us began a dysfunctional relationship with our mothers before our inlaws... for me thats true!

Your fmil has no right to your friendships!!! When my mom does this, I calmly say "I am very sorry you have had a bad experience with this person. I haven't but will remember what you have told me". That seems to placate her. *sighs*

Was there a chapter in Forwards book on gossip addicts? My entire inlaws are also addicted to gossip. They get some sort of weird high out of "bursting your bubble", too. You mention something positive about someone, and they are practically jumping up and down to tell you how twenty five years ago this person once drank too much at a party and mooned someone. LOLOL