well we had a family function this weekend on HIS side of the family..actually everyone was quite civil and i feel the heat has been taken off of me somewhat since my BIL has a new GF..one that is SUPER SENSITIVE..i should tell her RUN and dont look back,but i wont cause i dont want to mess in others relationship..but for sure this family doesnt handle anyone with kiddie gloves..anywho..everythin was goin fairly well and i even was feeling somewhat neutral about my evil SIL playing with my 6yr old daughter- i mean family is family after all and that is what i pictured our happy family to be like..needless to say the bitch is not playing as nice as i thought....after tucking my dear child into bed last night and taking a few moments to reflect on the weekend , my daughter quirped that i take good care of her..i asked watever did u say that , that i always take good care of you..and she said that Auntie was asking if mommie takes good care of her and doesnt hurt her or hit her or anything like that and my daughter said yes, mommy does....WTF!!!!! i cried myself to sleep, its been 6 yrs of this crap and she isnt giving up!! i cant talk to my DH about this either cause it just doesnt help..he'd say somethin like "oh thats not waht she meant or..she is just being a caring person"..hmm NO she is trying to stir up shit ....another thing this weekend one comment that i managed to blow off from MIL was when discussing highschool academics and grades, after asking me how i did in school (which was very well btw) she replied " Well then, you could have gone to University to and today you would have bEEN SOMEBODY"..i told her " I am somebody, thank you"....can you say RUDE...btw i am very sucessfully employed by the federal governmnt more than i can say for her that has never even had ONE job!

Good grief.. all these evil in-laws sound the same.. I can relate to YOUR post too.... SIL and MIL.... One of my SIL is an exact clone of my MIL, only "snottier" (nose in the air and all - Beeotch)...
Why do you think that your DH won't understand?.. I mean, your SIL was way out of line.....
Grrr... In laws...

dh won't understand- he has blinders on- there have been multiple times i have been slammed/insulted/belittled and ignored and its like he doesnt notice anything..plus even when me and evil sil had our first big fight he was playing both sides- men are weak- if i could have known now- i would have never got involved with him..
my inlaws live over 2 hrs away, last night the new gf to bif got in an accident, inlaws didnt even bother seeing her in the hospital after her concussion

I hope your bil gf is ok.  What rude people!

Doesn't your husband understand that by asking your daughter those questions she's insinuating that you abuse your child?  And by extension that your husband allows it to happen?  So, not only is she insulting you but him as well.  

Also, DHS (though it sounds like you are english so you probably have something similiar but not called DHS) has to investigate every single claim.  Obviously they won't find anything but can you imagine the humiliation he would feel?  not to mention your daughter's confusion and fear?

yes people are sure screwed up and mean, i have started to develop a friendship w/ the bil gf however its sad to think that it is just a matter of time b4 evil SIL tries to come between the 2 of us, she is very good at being manipulative and making up stories.

that is so awful to mess with a lil girl. i hope sil feels bad for it. and ur hubby should be protecting his daughter by asking his sister why she would ask things like that.
i would trust a 6 year old would understand and know what she sed, so she wouldnt make it up.
i wouldnt care how much i dislike my inlaws i would never ever question parenting- esp to the kid. just awful.

That's just sad. Clearly the SIL is so insanely jealous of you that she's looking for any little piece of dirt to use against you.  Give your daughter a great big hug, what a sweetie she was in your defense (even if she didn't realize what was going on)!  I would definately try to keep your SIL as far away from your daughter as possible. Don't leave them alone!  Who knows what other kinds of sick things the SIL will try to put into your daughter's head!

well she only ever sees her @ family functions, SIL always lets on that she cares sooo much about her niece, yet funny - never once- not even when she lived under our roof- did SIL babysit for us and help out--she is one of those relatives that are all about the show...we lived within walking distance of each other for almost 5 years and she never visited or tried to make amends ...she would only show up when the MIL and FIL came around, to act like she really cared--she goes big on the Christmas and Birthday presnts and tries to win my daughters affection by spending money on her...
its weird, i think when i let my guard down about DH and let her try to manipulate him- she stopped!?!....when i stopped caring about her sending expensive gifts to my daughter and I even called her and said THANK YUOU SOO MUCH..the expensive gifts stopped!!?!!-- now she sees she cant get my goat those routes, so now she is trying to manipulate my daughter but i cant let her do that- i feel like i have been exercising the old adage " pick your battles carefully" and this is one battle i cant let her win- i would have to agree , minimizing her contact with my daughter at family functions would be a good plan, but it seems that my MIL is on the SIL game cause when we show up at family functions my MIL grabs my daughters hand and goes "oh lets go find auntie"...

i have a close friend on facebook who has to deal with a manipulative SIL as well, the other day i posted on her wall that i was happy my daughter recognized the transparency of  gifts from uncaring relatives and she shouldnt worry about her inlaws playing the moeny/manipulation game...well that was a bad move on my part cause snoopy BIL read that and posted a really nasty message on his status update about me...GRRRR.. so i fired him off an email explaining what his sister was up to, try to accuse me of child abuse and so on, he replied saying that we all make mistakes..,,HA.. i guess i should start making mistakes tooo i told him