Having read through all the responses to your post, I have been thinking about how I want to respond.  I am like one of the other posters: I divorced my ex, in great part because of the verbal abuse (there were more reasons, but that is the major one), and my new hubby is great, and we all get along really well now and my daughter is very well-adjusted (and much happier not to have so much negativity in our home).  

I do not say this as a suggestion that you get divorced, merely to let you know that separation is not the end of the world, but living miserably is.

I'd definately go talk to the therapist, but realize this is your HUBBY's issue, not yours (although it is making you unhappy).  The last time I checked, a marriage is made up of 2 people who both have a say.  The one with the money is not the one who makes all the rules.  I'm sorry to voice my opinion on that so strongly, but it is clearly making you unhappy, and so it seems to me that addressing this issue with your hubby is probably the main goal.  

Your MIL clearly raised her son to be chauvenistic, and by her own actions is showing she thinks of you as a 2nd class citizen.  I really feel for you, and I hope you realize that you deserve to be treated better than that.

My current issues with my new MIL are a pain, and thankfully my hubby is starting to stand up to her and back me up.  It took some time for us to get to this point, and it is not always perfect...but he is willing to try.  If you can get your hubby to see your side and at least TRY to work on it to make it a bit better and make things more equitable in your marriage, then I would say it has a good chance.

This post was last modified: 08-07-2008 09:57 AM by mainegirl.

If anyone here would benefit from Susan Forward's "Toxic Inlaws" I think its this poster. It was an eye opener for me in my previous marriage.

Mainegirl is right, you deserve to be happy.

Mainegirl, I am glad you were able to divorce your ex, too.  It took me a few years to realize I was being verbally abused. And it was hard to break free. I honestly believed if I divorced him I would be alone for the rest of my life. I had to decide that being alone was better than being miserable with him.

However, we didn't have children. I think that makes it so much more difficult.

I agree with Twinkle; and I, too, would suggest the book Toxic Inlaws. Very eye opening and supportive for any/all of us who are stuck in some sort of TOXIC INLAW situation/scenario. It helps to give you a better understanding of why things are the way they are and how you can start the process of changing things. It even gives suggestions on how to talk with your DH and attempt to get him to see your perspective... Good reference.

Thanks I actually havethe book and you all have excellent points...will think and get back to you ....mainegirl you hit it on the head....I guess I am scared..